On encouragement

Dear readers-- thanks for your feedback via text, email, and facebook. Keep it coming, and remember that there's also a discussion forum on the blog (if you're so inclined)

Today I thought I'd write a quick post on the power of positive remembering. More than just positive thinking, recalling good moments of my recent past helps me refocus on the benefits and blessings of my present. I'm even using a really cool app to help: grateful160. It sends a text message once a day to ask what you're thankful for. In a text of 160 or fewer characters, you reply. At the end of the week you get a synopsis of your week measured in gratitude. For someone who has a tendency to fall into self-destructive, isolating melancholy, I find this an important tool in my fight against won't-leave-the-house-or-be-productive depressive moments.

I've also been keeping busy with appointments and house-updating. Terminix, a consignment store, and flooring people all came yesterday. Even though I'm behind on my reading, I find myself better prepared to fight the "I can't ever do this" feeling with the knowledge that reading is my primary, but not only, commitment.

And speaking of consignment stores, check out our new space!

Notice that big, beautiful couch is gone? Yep. I'll be posting updates about this room as the summer continues; I'm so looking forward to its progression!

And here are some photos of the new front yard (subject of my last post on yard work):

New pine straw, new mailbox plot, new mailbox plant (named Cliff-- get it?)

We also changed out the plants by our porch. A plot that once hosted two large but scraggly roses (who, I admit, look quite lovely for about two weeks of the year) and a few random bushes is now home to four promising shrubs. Most importantly, we've covered up most of the giant, black, plastic drain pipe. Hooray.

Another part of my self-encouragement strategy is to invest time in projects whose return is both quick and lasting. I love, love the new yard. I am constantly excited about the new TV room. Writing down what I've read for exams on a "hall of fame" board makes me feel more productive than crossing off something from a baffling, four-page reading list. I do something everyday that helps me (grocery store, allergy shots, dry cleaners). I reach out to friends and schedule get-togethers in advance. I'm keeping busy, and even on days when I oversleep (ahem), having so much else to do me keeps me afloat. I'll have to remember that on days that get really difficult.

Until next time, wishing everyone fond memories of projects past.

On yard work and criticism

I hope you've all enjoyed the spring! Upon my return from Texas, I went right to work on the house. So far, we're trying to convert our too-formal tv room into a more functional space, exchanging our giant sofa (let me know if you want to buy it-- it's only a year old!) for a smaller sofa and chair in addition to a shared "work station."

Sofa, "Toby," Bryant

Chair, Ottoman, sofa with fabric swatch.

Using peppers and tomatoes I brought home from the farm, I made jalapeno (how do I add a tilde on this damn thing?) salsa per Mike's recipe and it is, frankly, divine. Super spicy, totally fresh, and of course, salt-free.

This stuff will change your life. 

And, per my post title, I've also engaged in some heavy-duty yard work. Behold, the fruits of my manual labor:

We're planning to replace all of the pine straw with fresh pine straw, but need to get rid of all the random plants, weeds, and vines plaguing our front yard. The picture above shows the yard a little over halfway through my marathon. I find raking entirely addictive; I love it because it gets me outside and active. And in the front yard instead of the back, I get a better chance of visiting with my neighbors and getting some sun. All around, a good gig.

But let me not mislead you. I am not, in any way, trying to suggest that I like to garden. That is a completely different thing. I prefer deconstruction: clearing, sorting, discovering. And discover I do! I've found tons of interesting things:

Above: the hatch from "Lost," a random drain, and an unlikely tulip with a pretty treacherous vine as a neighbor. 
I was reminded, as I was scraping away the layers of my yard's many years, that my interest in yard work is not unlike my interest in literature. Don't roll your eyes. You knew this was coming.

Upon introducing myself as a PhD student in English, I usually get the question, "Oh, so you want to write novels?" NO. I don't ever, ever want to write novels. Or publish poetry. Or do any "creative writing" of any kind. I love that other people do it, but it isn't for me. I'm not very creative. My skills match my interests: examining, parsing, discovering. And here's my favorite discovery of the day-- one of two beautiful snakes! This fine lady/handsome man was nearly a foot long:

If you can, zoom in to see its tongue out!

I was startled, of course, and then worried that I might have hurt it in some way. It was extraordinarily slow until I stepped towards it; it then slithered, I hope healthily, away. 

I then thought about what I was doing-- all day I'd seen beetles and ants, a worm here and there. I'd uprooted weeds and pulled back vines. I was definitely affecting a mini-ecosystem (stay with me-- I promise this isn't about to go crazy hippie on you!) But I did really begin to consider myself a custodian, rather than an owner, of my own yard. After all, this is my third raking snake, and that got me thinking about my scholarship as well.

The pieces I work on are very, very old. They have their own birth stories and their own growth stories. They've passed through countless hands, crossed countries, and ended up recopied and now, scanned and on a computer screen. And while authorship is a difficult matter, especially in chronicles whose composition actually spans centuries, I should always be aware that they are someone else's creation. They are bequeathed to me, but never mine. I'm participating in a community of scholarship in the same way that I'm participating in my own little ecosystem. It's exciting and challenging; it's rewarding and productive. Its discoveries are delightful, and I claim those moments of uncovering rather than those of creating. I scrape instead of sow.

Until next time, wishing you a summer full of revelation and, if it's your thing, invention as well. 

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day, readers! Hopefully most of you have been able to spend some quality time with your own maternal figures.  I just returned from Belize with my mother and mother-in-law (in addition to stepfather, father-in-law, sister, sister's bf, and husband). I was simply thrilled to share the perfect vacation with perfectly wonderful women.

My mom, ever-adventurous, first took me buddy diving in Belize almost two decades ago.  Now certified, I find diving with her both delightful and dear-- it's an activity  she has always spoken of highly, and one I dreamt of sharing with her for most of my childhood (dream realized below).

She's done all the great mom things-- helped me through horrible times,  celebrated the better ones, never, ever, EVER given up on my potential or my happiness. But her contribution to my live is so much more than her role as mother. It is also as teacher, friend, and eager passport-stamper.

Indeed, nearly all of what she's taught me (like how to identify marine exoskeletons, above) has revolved around adventure, travel, and natural science.  She used to point out all the constellations and tell me to scuff my feet in the shallows; she made me swear up and down that I'd never night swim in the ocean and taught me how to handle snakes; she assured me that the whole world was worth seeing and saving, and I--ever curious of her globe-trekking footsteps--have tried to follow close behind in order to do so.

My mother-in-law is simply awesome. A working mother and wife for over thirty years, she has paved another road for me to follow. Her commitment to family is inspiring and a little intimidating-- could I do what she's done and still have a perfectly level and loving head on my shoulders?  I've got some time to prepare myself for the adventure of working parenthood, but I'm glad to have another kind of model before me.

My stepmother, too, has been a great setter of bars.  A ridiculously talented, totally genius architect, she has literally made a mark on our world. She's shown me how important it is to push myself professionally, even within an extraordinarily difficult field that is far from family-female-friendly.

Of course, the mothers in my life are not limited to these three wonderwomen. I am ever-grateful and humbled by the grand feats of my sisters and friends.  I feel empowered and encouraged by all of the examples you set the many roads you paved, and the constant, love you show.  

Until next time, may you find yourselves surrounded by as many good mothers as I.

The smart life

A few days ago, I went to the gas station to fill up my nearly empty tank; I purchased a little under seven gallons for a little under twenty-five dollars.

Did you read that twice? Three times? Are you now wishing you had and feeling guilty about skimming my amazing blog? No worries.

My tank holds about eight gallons, and NC gas is expensive. But here's the awesome part: I drove two hundred and ninety miles on those first seven gallons. How's that for a fun math problem?

News: I got a new car-- and a new kind of car:

"Heidi," name courtesy of D.T.

It's a Smart Car!! Made by Mercedes, it's quite safe-- this little thing has eight airbags and extraordinary safety ratings.  The best part (yes, it actually gets better) is that neither Drew nor I had to give up our huge SUVs.  After running the numbers, we found that driving this car really does pay for itself!  I use it almost every day between Durham and Chapel Hill, and Drew occasionally drives it to Raleigh.

Yes, dear readers-- my 6'6" husband fits comfortably in the smart and loves driving it. With an automatic clutch and a manual transmission, the car can be driven in regular drive, with a stick, or with paddles on the steering wheel.

Want more? Check out their website, and go for a test drive soon! Dealerships are working crazy deals to make room for the new models coming in. http://www.smartusa.com/

So, what brought two professional students to buy a third car?

As many of you know, I teach my "Writing in the Sciences" unit on climate change because the research is new and relevant. Regardless of political leanings, students seem invested in finding out the truth the hard way-- reading the studies that pundits and reporters so often oversimplify.  

And, perhaps to Fox's chagrin [see their and Mediaite's laughably one-sided reports on a one-sided study about college professors being one-sided here], I have no social agenda to put forth.  What's so fascinating about teaching this unit is that I see dozens of articles on climate change, and not all of them agree. Despite the surprisingly heterodox treatments of climate change by legitimate scientific resources, I was ultimately swayed by the preponderance of evidence that gas emissions do indeed contribute to catastrophic, climatic effects. I felt good about my perspective because I'd read credible sources from other sides, but then I became a little panicky. How could I be so complicit in something I knew was wrong, especially when there was an alternative? I couldn't.

I don't believe in promoting a personal agenda in the classroom, but I do believe, very strongly, in leading by example-- inside and outside the classroom.  If I know something is wrong and I have the opportunity to make a difference, I should. That's not politics; that's personal responsibility.

Studies like the one reported above miss the fact that most teachers enjoy learning from their students.   If "college campuses [are] dominated by liberal professors-- some of whom may be pushing a progressive agenda on their students," what should I do about being a moderate instructor influenced by the research of my students? Have they come to college to indoctrinate me? 


It's a rough world of knowledge out there, friends. Stay smart.

Mapping Family Value(s)

Thrilling discovery! There is an open, searchable map for the Domesday Book: http://domesdaymap.co.uk

Of course, this bodes well for my large-scale project, because the Domesday site also incorporates IMAGES OF THE ENTIRE TEXT-- with English annotations to the side.  I'm unspeakably excited about finding this source (which is free, miraculously).

On a professional level, the Domesday Map contextualizes the smaller and larger steps of my own mapping project (in case you missed it)
On a more personal level, the site helps me imagine my family history.
My first documented ancestor is Ralph de la Pommerai, or Pomeroy.  He is recorded in the Domesday Book as lord of Berry [of] Pomeroy, whose castle is pictured right. I've spent countless hours wondering what life might have been like here, even in its original structure, but had very little material with which to work.

Despite having a genealogical book of my father's family, I've never known as much about my 11th century ancestor as I would like (indeed, I'm sure I never will).  I could have known more though, had I bothered to look at the Domesday Book myself:

from domesdaymap.co.uk

And although the wikipedia article is similarly helpful, it of course isn't anything like the entry of Berry Pomeroy on the Domesday Map site: 

domesdaymap.co.uk

It's really fascinating for me to have Ralph Pomeroy's holdings-- human, animal, and land-- seen in this way.  The Berry had 45 villagers, 17 smallholders, and 16 slaves.  Land for 25 ploughlands was worked by 4 lord's teams and 17 men's teams; although a seemingly large population, it paid relatively low tax.  How had Ralph managed that? What was his relationship like with William the Conqueror, who landed him in the first place?  With 560 sheep, how often did he eat mutton?

domesdaymap.co.uk

Clicking on him brought me to a map of all sites associated with his name (even if not the same person, as the disclaimer notes).  I found that his holdings extended beyond that one (now purportedly haunted) castle ruins that I've known about for so long. Not surprisingly, all 136 locations affiliated with Ralph Pomeroy are in Devon.

As excited as I am to find personal, familial fulfillment in this project, I'm perhaps equally enthused by its implications for mapping the Anglo-Saxon Chronicles.  Who knows what someone else might find? What personal or academic impact might my project, even in its smallest version, have on someone else?

And this is exactly my purpose, as I've written about in earlier posts.  There is a problem with medievalists, their sources, their audiences, and accessibility.  Amazingly, this map-- a form perhaps first employed to mark boundaries-- is now breaking them down.

Until soon, fellow revolutionaries.
(speaking of ironic use of "revolutionaries"-- has anyone read the article about the Pope's speech in Cuba's Revolutionary Square?)